Boston Cream Pie

Mr. Chili’s favorite birthday cake is Boston Cream Pie. I believe it’s true that I’ve made him one every May 30th for the last three years in a row. While the recipe for Boston Cream Pie is a little fussy, it still qualifies as stupid-easy, so here we go.

For starters, I’ve yet to find a yellow cake recipe that I like as well as what I can get out of a box. Judge me not, my friends; I have no problem whipping up a scratch chocolate cake, but there’s something about that dense, heady vanilla flavor of a box yellow cake that I haven’t been able to adequately recreate, so Betty Crocker it is. I make two layers according to the package directions, then set them out to cool while I get on with the filling and the glaze.

I have always had a love/hate relationship with custard; I love to eat it, but I hate to make it. Well, let me amend that - I don’t HATE to make it, but it took me a long time to learn the technique of good custard-making (I failed it in home ec. classes in high school and had more than my fair share of split custards in my adulthood, too). I figured it out, though; here’s how you do it:

In a small bowl, beat two egg yolks together and set them aside. Combine 1/3 cup of sugar (I use a little more), 2 tablespoons of cornstarch (I sift the cornstarch through a little mesh strainer first, just to be sure there are no lumps that might give me trouble later in the process) and a pinch of salt in a sauce pan and stir in 1 1/2 cups of milk. Heat these over medium, stirring often, until the mixture comes just to a boil, then temporarily remove the pan from the heat (keep the burner on).

Scoop out a little of the hot mixture and, whisking constantly, drizzle it into the egg yolks. Then, scoop out a little more and repeat this process. When you’ve worked in about 1/3 of the hot stuff into the yolks, scrape them back into the saucepan and cook the whole thing together for about two and a half minutes - it should be thick and bubbly.

Remove the pan from the heat and pour the custard through a strainer into a bowl (you’ll have to coax the stuff through the mesh - it should be pretty thick by now). I stir in a little vanilla or, even better, vanilla paste at this point, then I put a piece of plastic wrap directly on the surface of the custard and stash the bowl in the fridge to chill while I get on with the glaze.

Boston cream pie is covered with a simple ganache; and when I say “simple,” I mean it. Put one cup of milk or cream in the microwave or, if you don’t have a microwave - don’t snicker; I know a LOT of people who don’t - heat it on the stove just until it’s good and hot but not boiling (three minutes in the zapper works for me, or about five minutes on the stove). In the meantime, chop up about 12 ounces of good chocolate (or, alternately, about a cup and a half of chocolate chips). Pour the milk over the chocolate and let it sit for a moment or two, then start stirring; pretty soon, the whole mixture should be smooth and glossy. Set it aside to cool (sometimes I’ll put this in the fridge, but not often; getting it to room temperature is usually sufficient).

Put one of the cake layers on a plate, dump all of the cooled custard in a pile in the center, then put the other layer on top and gently press until the custard starts to ooze out the sides. Pour the ganache over, stick in some candles, and make a wish!

The only thing you should be aware of is that once this cake is cut, it’s photogenic days are over. The top of the cake WILL slide off the bottom if given a chance (we came downstairs the next morning to find this had happened) and because the custard is made with egg yolks, it’ll go bad pretty quickly if not kept refrigerated. I don’t think this will be a problem, though; it probably won’t last that long, anyway.

YUM!

Muddy Dirt Cake *EDITED!*

Several years ago, I made a chocolate cake for my daughter’s birthday. Nothing special, really - just a chocolate cake that I was intending to frost with chocolate frosting.

You know what they say about intentions and the road to hell, right?

I’m not sure how it happened, but the cake would not come out of the pans. YES, I greased and floured the pans; I’m a Goddess in the Kitchen, remember? For whatever reason - whether the oven temperature was off or the humidity was wrong or the moon was in retrograde - those cakes dug in and hung on, and the only way I could get them out of the pans was in pieces.

There I was with a recipe’s worth of cake bits. Frustrated, but entirely undaunted (by then, I’d learned to look at challenges as just that - challenges - and to not let myself get too worked up), I came up with a plan. I further crumbled the bits and put them in a glass dish. Then I put together a couple of batches of chocolate pudding; the cook-and-serve kind because, really? Instant? Not so much. (And yes, I use pudding mixes. Like brownies, the stuff from the box just comes out consistently better.) Once the pudding had chilled, I folded it into the cake bits, blopped a little bit of whipped cream on top and voilla! Muddy Dirt Cake. Though it wasn’t PRETTY, the dirt cake went over HUGE with the under-five set. The grown-ups seemed to like it pretty well, too.

I’ve made this cake on purpose several times since then. Sometimes I use boxed cake mix, sometimes I start from scratch, but I always use Jello or Royal cook and serve chocolate pudding for the “mud” component. My family doesn’t require theatrics, but if they did, I would pretty this up by serving it in a clean (preferably glazed) flower pot and sticking either sugared or silk flowers in. You could make it more kid-friendly (as if it’s not enough already!) by mixing in some gummy worms and putting some candy bugs on the top. Either way, this is stupid-easy yumminess at its finest.

Edited to include this photo of Punkin’ Pie’s 11th birthday cake, complete with silk flowers and gummy worms.  The girls came to the table and didn’t know where the cake was until I pointed it out to them.  It was a HUGE hit:

First Course

I’ve been meaning to open this site for a while now; not only do I love to share recipes (and I love to receive recipes that others are willing to share), but I’ve long longed for a place where I can keep all my favorites in one easy-to-search spot.

Welcome, then, my friends, to Mrs. Chili’s online kitchen! Pull up a chair and grab a spoon!

Almost all of my favorite recipes are what I proudly call “stupid-easy.” They’re concoctions that are crazy-simple to put together but which consistently earn me acclaim and adoration and the reputation as a Goddess of the Kitchen. I sometimes feel guilty about accepting the accolades for these dishes - I’m certain that if my diners knew how easy these recipes are to throw together, they might be a little more stingy with their praise.

My plan here is to give you the recipe as I found it (if such a thing exists; often, I make stuff up as I go), then give you the modifications that I’m likely to make when I cook the recipe myself. If you come up with another way of tweaking the instructions or the ingredients, be sure to let me know!

The first recipe I’m going to share here is one of my most favorite comfort foods, and truly one of my most simple recipes - seriously; five ingredients and no special skills required. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I do.

Vanilla Rice Pudding

In the bowl of a slow cooker or a large saucepan, combine

1/2 cup of arborio rice

3 cups of milk, 1 cup of cream

1/4 cup of granulated sugar

1 tablespoon of vanilla extract.

Simmer on low, covered, until the rice is al dente and the mixture is thick.

Sometimes, I’ll go exactly half and half on the milk and cream - 2 cups of each - and sometimes I’ll go with 3 cups of actual half-and-half and one cup of milk if I’m out of heavy cream. I tend to go a tiny bit heavy on both the sugar and the vanilla, and I’ve discovered vanilla bean paste (which I buy at Trader Joe’s) which imparts a lovely speckled look to the dish. I suppose one can also split and scrape a vanilla bean and leave it to simmer in the rice, but I almost never have whole vanilla beans around my kitchen.

How quickly I want this in a bowl is going to determine which cooking method I’ll use - the stovetop is a bit quicker than the slow cooker, but the stovetop also requires a bit more of my attention than the Crock Pot. I’ve also been known to stir everything together in a lidded baking dish and put it in a 250° oven, but only if I’ve got all day.

I serve this both warm and cold though, to be honest, I only eat it cold right out of the container while standing in front of the open refrigerator door.

YUM!